Where to start with your AMCAS personal statement?

An AMCAS BURGER

Some medical school admissions leaders will tell you that you can and should write about anything that demonstrates your passion.

Others will let you in on a secret… They read as many as 40 applications to medical school each day between the months of July and April. While your personal statement and entire medical school application (AMCAS) should be unique, it may be smart for you to include expected elements in your writing.

The Burger

While you may choose to have a well written essay about any topic that demonstrates your passion, you may want to follow a simpler strategy…

What are the essential elements to a medical school personal statement? What does a standard one look like? A burger. Your personal statement should be a five part burger. A beginning and an end, with three pieces in the middle.

Your Five Piece Burger

Medical School Personal Statement = 5 Part Essay = 5 Part Burger

Imagine waiting in line at your favorite fast food joint. You’re ordering a burger. What’s on it? The burger has a top and bottom bun, meat, a piece of cheese, and a leaf of lettuce.

Your personal statement can be a burger. Five simple, yet unique paragraphs. 

Goal of a Personal Statement

What is the Goal of Your Personal Statement?

Before you build your personal statement burger, it’s important to realize that this essay should do two things for you. It should make the reader like you AND realize that you are suitable for a position within their medical school.

0. Likability                     The reader will like me.

0. Suitability                    The reader thinks I am suitable for his or her medical school.

The Core Theme of Your Essay

Is your burger a chicken ranch burger, a cheese and bacon burger, or a vegan burger? When you step up to the counter of your favorite fast food restaurant and order your burger, it has a theme or a name. Right? Your essay needs a theme too.

What should the core theme of your essay be?

All great essays have a theme. Your theme should focus on one of the qualities of an excellent physician.

What are the qualities of an excellent physician?

Excellent physicians demonstrate their qualities while treating patients, solving problems and in their daily work, and in general interactions with those around them.

Qualities When Treating Patients

n       Compassion

n       Empathy

n       Sensitivity

n       Integrity

n       Communication skills

Qualities When Solving Problems

n       Creativity

n       Initiative

n       Independence

n       Curiosity

n       Critical thinking skills

General Qualities

n       Perseverance

n       Dedication

n       Maturity

n       Honesty

n       Sincerity

n       Motivation

n       Energy

n       Diversity

The Five Paragraphs of Your Personal Statement

A simple, yet effective AMCAS personal statement essay has five paragraphs. These include:

n       Overview of the quality (of a physician) as seen through your eyes

n       Experience in shadowing*

n       Experience in medical volunteering*

n       Experience in research (or additional shadowing or additional volunteering)*

n       Summary of the quality and why you are suited to become a physician 

* Paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 can come in any order. They are interchangeable.

Note:  Put your “most interesting” experience in paragraph 2.

Paragraph 1:  Overview

Overview of the (physician) quality as seen through your eyes

Ideas:

n       Influential person in your life who has that quality

Examples:  

Fadma, the treat server at my mosque

Jose, the child whom I tutor

The determined young mother who ride my bus each day with her children

n       Place that encourages that quality

Examples:

            The summer camp for children impacted by HIV/AIDS

            Your childhood soccer field and city park

            My dad’s farm

            My aunt’s vegetable cart, in the central market of Mogadishu

n       Happy memory from your past where you recollect that quality

Examples:

            My family trip to the Red Sea

            Gardening with my grandmother

            Doing a science project with my dad

Paragraphs 2, 3 and 4:  Your Pre Medical Experiences

Experiences demonstrating that you are suitable for med school and a career in medicine

n       Shadowing a physician:  he/she showed that quality

n       Conducting research:  Researcher or research team demonstrated that quality

n       Volunteering:  A lead volunteer or a “client” or patient demonstrated that quality

n       Leading:  Your team demonstrated that quality (it should be leadership on a medically related project or mission trip)

Paragraph 5:  Summary with Closing Remark on Suitability for Medicine

Summarize the quality and the first sentence of your first paragraph.

Close with a clear statement on your suitability for a career in medicine.

Do’s and Don’ts

Do:

1.      Stay positive. You are an educated, interesting person. Why would you want to have a statement about something unfortunate that happened in your life? 90% of those who apply to medical school tell a sad story about life or medicine. Stand out from the crowd but making a positive impact.

2.      Transition your paragraphs clearly. What is the theme of your essay? Dedication? Critical thinking skills? Use a transition statement in every paragraph. Use the word or words that are your theme in every paragraph.

Example

                                    If energy is your theme…

                                    Paragraph 2:  First sentences of your paragraph:

When I reflect on my hours spent shadowing Dr. Abel Desta in 2009 and 2010, I realize now that his commitment to his patients is only surpassed by the amount of limitless ENERGY that he seems to possess. While he rounded at the Fairview Southdale hospital in Edina, with patients on seven floors, he never took an elevator. When I trailed him, I was always taking stairs two at a time simply to keep pace. Yet, despite his speedy nature, I never felt rushed, nor did his patients. In fact, while his quick feet and ready smile were lightening fast, his ability to understand the needs of patients and families, and to truly listen to their concerns was calming.

Paragraph 3:   First sentences of your 3^rd paragraph:

Between September 2010 and May 2011, my work as a junior research associate for the oncology department within the Masonic Cancer Center at the University of Minnesota Medical School was centered on the vision of a team comprised of six innovative and ENERGETIC scientists. Their quest to analyze the impact of chemotherapy and radiation treatments on mice was fueled by passion to save lives and a refrigerator filled with Red Bull. That laboratory buzzes with pure ENERGY from 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Do Not:

0. Never give a chronological version of your life story from childhood to yesterday. No reader wants to hear that you were inspired by medicine at age five and took AP science and mathematics courses in high school. NO ONE.

0. Never write negatively about a hospital, doctor, or health care provider. Most readers of your essay are going to be physicians. They NEVER want to have their profession bashed by a student who hasn’t worked in the filed. Would you want to read an essay about how rotten college students are? NO! While some your experiences in medicine may be negative, the personal statements/essay for AMCAS is not the forum to air your concerns.

0. Never try to fix health care, health insurance, or the way doctors behave in your essay. You do not have the experience to try and fix a medical provider, hospital or clinic, or health care plan. So, don’t go there. You essay should NEVER tell the reader that you are going into medicine to fix it. You are going into medicine because you have a passion for healing people.

0. Do not share a medical crisis about yourself, your grandma, your brother, or your mother as the theme of your essay. Many writers will talk about a crisis in medicine related to a family member. That theme is BORING and USED! Be original.

0. Never come across as angry in your essay. Angry people are hard to be around. Why would a medical school want to invite an angry person to interview there?

0. This may not be the right time to share stories about mental illness within your family. While discussions about mental illness are important to have, this may not be the time to discuss them freely. Physicians who read your essay will wonder if you are mentally ill and if you are in treatment. And while neither of those is a bad thing, your AMCAS personal statement just isn’t the forum for it.

0. Do not use “I” “I” “me” “me” in every sentence. Be careful. Talk about how the fine qualities of others, specifically physicians, researchers, and community stewards. Discuss how they have fueled your quest to understand medicine.

Personal Statement BURGER Partial Sample:   

Core Theme = Communications Skills

Paragraph 1: Overview

When the day nurse at Baby Home #2 needed to catch my attention, she whistled like a Cardinal. I didn’t speak Russian and she didn’t speak English. Yet, that simple whistle connected me to her in a charming, joyful way. I wanted to be responsive to that sound, because I knew if I turned around to catch her in mid whistle there would be a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I wanted Irina to know that I could be counted on when she needed my help. The endearing way that she communicated with me during my six weeks with her, in the central Siberian city of Novosibirsk, made me appreciate the way a stranger can invite herself into your heart and soul without saying a word. Nurse Irina has it figured out. Communication, pure and simple, is a key for truly knowing others and inviting them to know you. I believe that excellent physicians communicate well, and for that reason, I have become much more aware of how I come in and out of the lives of others.  

Paragraph 2: Experience in Pre Medicine 

Fa Oku, MD, MPH, has an unnatural ability to communicate with his patients through his gentle facial features. He has a sense of calmness when he is with his patients. While I shadowed him over several months at the XXX clinic, I always noticed the simple smile he gave every person in each clinical exam setting. He had a smile for every family member, language interpreters, and for the patient… you would write more about his communications skills and what you learned….

Paragraph 3: Experience in Pre Medicine 

Nemo (my nickname for him), a four year old with acute myeloid leukemia, is a master communicator. He always snuggled up against me when I came for my sessions as a Book Buddy at Hennepin County Medical Center. His blankie, his jammie clad feet, and I were always physically connected. Without saying much, he knew that we were communicating. I could see that his family clearly had a reading regimen with Nemo at home, for he had an exacting set of expectations about how I would hold each book, show illustrations, and cross my own legs. While he seldom gave directions, he communicated his need to have the book Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel read at every meeting. In training me how to read to him, he provided me with an education on how to put people, specifically patients, front and center…. You would write about being in the moment and giving people your time – communicating without a sense of urgency.

Paragraph 4: Experience in Pre Medicine 

My research internship at the University of Minnesota Medical School provided me with an opportunity to understand how, if expectations are communicated clearly, everyone can be successful on any given day. My research with Paul Bohjanen, MD, PhD, at the Masonic Cancer Center provided me with excellent insight into the regulation of gene expression in cells of the immune system. During my time spent with him, I was able to understand the biochemical mechanisms that regulate MRNA decay and study their role in regulating disease states, such as malignancy or viral inflection. While my interactions with Dr. Bohjanen were limited, my opportunities to learn from his post doctoral team leader, Stanley Effner, PhD were world-class. Stan met with me each morning to communicate his expectations for the work day. His articulated plans helped me organize the activities and deliverables each time I was in the lab… You would write about how communicating clearly afforded you the opportunity to meet expectations, deliver on needed materials, manage time.

Paragraph 5: Summary

After having spent time with nurse Irina, Nemo, Dr. Oku, and Stan, I find myself hungering to be around excellent communicators. I long to hear Irina’s Cardinal whistle in my ear. In fact, after reading that hanging oranges in the trees outside actually attracts Cardinals, I find myself doing just that. In putting out oranges, I hope that a happy bird will whistle in my direction and bring back those memories of my time in the Siberian baby home. Throughout my life, subtle tutors have forged my interest in being the type of physicians who listens and looks for simple ways to connect with individuals. Who would’ve thought that my best lessons about being a great communicator would have come from a whistling Russian nurse?

Personal Statement BURGER Partial Sample:   

Core Theme = Dedication

Paragraph 1:  Overview

Every night, regardless of the season, my fourteen year neighbor, Sameer, sends up 100 free throw shots near my bedroom window. Sameer is dedicated. The hoop that he shoots at is there only in his mind. Our Section 8 housing complex doesn’t have any amenities and there is certainly no budget for a basketball court or even a simple hoop. When Sameer starts his nightly regime of setting off his free throws, I start mine. While he is sending balls up into the air and through his imaginary hoop, I am tucking my younger siblings into bed. He is dedicated to his teammates and the simple love of a game that may lead him out of or urban core apartment housing. I am dedicated to creating a healthier future for my loved ones and those underserved families who need constant, affordable health care. Sameer is dedicated. I am too.  

Paragraph 2: Experience in Pre Medicine 

On Tuesdays, I shadow Dr. Thuy Nguyen-Tran of the Center Clinic in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota. I am impressed with her dedication to the wide range of patients that she sees. From my estimate, I believe she knows simple greetings in sixteen different languages, including Swahili, Hmong, Amharic, and Somali. Her dedication to knowing cultural nuances of various African and Asian immigrants is clear in the way she works and volunteers within minority communities. I see how she is dedicated to her patients and their families in the way that she eats foods from around the world, and celebrates a wide range of holidays, and includes culturally accepted healing practices in her practice. Her careful consideration of how individuals cultural beliefs play a role in overall health defines Dr. Nguyen-Tran. Her dedication to knowing her patients core values has taught me…

Paragraph 3: Experience in Pre Medicine 

Could be research or another experience in medicine

Paragraph 4: Experience in Pre Medicine 

Could be volunteering

Paragraph 5:  Summary

Sameer’s dedication to basketball and pushed me to become a dedicated member of the medical community. He envisions a basketball hoop where there is none. In his mind’s eye, he has created a perfect backboard, hoop, net, and free throw line. He can visualize and create the situation which allows him to be an excellent player. Like Sameer, I can and do visualize myself as a primary care physician in an imperfect setting, much like the one I live in today. I am dedicated to healthier futures for those around me. Dr. Nguyen-Tran, XXX, and XXXX have taught me that dedication to the human condition is a necessary attribute for becoming an exceptional physician. I’m glad I learned the concept of dedication from such genuine teachers. Sameer’s dedication to the perfect basketball game cannot be deterred by wind, snow, or rain. As a physician, I plan to take a little bit of Sameer’s dedication with me every day.